we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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