I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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