And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
