I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this beer tastes like vomit already
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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