No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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