I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
