sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
