I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My penis needs a shock collar
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
