just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
