I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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