Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
