Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
