My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize