So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
