they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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