shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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