I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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