youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
