Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
