Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
