NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
