Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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