therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
