he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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