I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
