Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
