Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
