Your mouth is God's brothel.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize