I'm gonna have a badass scar
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
