I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
