I forgot how hot balto sounded
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
