I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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