she looked like the before picture.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
