So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
