I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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