told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
