chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
