..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
