I can tuck mytits in my pants
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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