You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
