so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
