My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i've created a new STD.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
