is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
