is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
