Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
