either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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