i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
