he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize