She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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