I'm really into asian looking animals
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
