just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
