this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
