Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it wasn't lemon gatorade
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Randomize
