Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize