If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
