But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize