At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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