got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
