If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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