Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
