I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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