I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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