Kiss
Puke
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
